Noah and I just like aggravating people. And we know that playing Christmas songs is very triggering for Osborn. So, naturally we play quite often “All I Want for Christmas is You”TM by Mariah Carey (because any other version is inferior- I’m looking at you Kidz Bop. [Well Kidz Bop never ceases to amaze me with how bad each progressive song gets, but that’s a whole other article]).

As we get closer and closer to the Christmas season, Noah and I blast the song on both of our computers in class. Starting at different times to give off an echo effect to really let the song sink in and make you want to gouge your eyes out. But here’s the thing, it never really gets to that point. Weird right? Like we will play the song constantly, non-stop for several hours, days, weeks. But Mariah Carey (not sponsored) never seems to get old. Noah and I always jam out to this sick bop kiddos. Especially when we get to the holiday season. That’s when the whipping, dabbing, hip moves and beat-dropping hair flipping kicks in and we go all out over Mariah’s amazing 90’s vocals (still not sponsored). But really though, what is it about Mariah Carey’s masterpiece “All I Want for Christmas is You”TM that never gets old? No matter the time of year.

The bells jingling at the beginning of the song ushers in the holiday joy. When Mariah comes in with the “I-iiiiiiii”, it gives you a warm feeling in your fat jolly belly full of cookies and milk. When the beat picks up, it welcomes you into the Winter Wonderland that you are about to experience (something Wham’s “Last Christmas” is unable to do). When you hit the chorus, you just can’t help but just flop your hair (if applicable) with every single beat. She tells the story of how she won’t even celebrate Christmas just to have her love there with her. Mariah’s fantastic 90’s vocals are so pure and joyful that all you want for Christmas is for Mariah to never stop singing this (well, now that I think about it-never stop listening to it. Sorry Mariah you just aren’t cutting it anymore). 23 years strong, when Mariah hits that high note- oof, doesn’t your heart just pour out. That’s the most iconic part of the song. No other Christmas song hits a higher, more angelic note that brings in the Christmas joy and builds up the HYPE for Christmas (something that Madonna’s “Santa Baby” fails to do).

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” (no, we’re not sponsored stop asking) is a wonderful masterpiece. “All I Want for Christmas is You” isn’t even comparable to Beethoven, it’s just that SUPREME. Finally after 23 years (23 too long if I do say so myself), it made the top 10 on Billboard’s Hot 100 List, where it belongs. On YouTube, the music video (uploaded in November 2009) reached 375 million views, and counting. 7,638 of those views were just Noah and I in the past 5 months. (Correction: 7,652 of those views are Noah and I. We just listened to it while writing this. And again and again and again. It’s a never ending chain.)

Noah and I listen to this song pretty much any time of the year (not just to make Osborn crazy) because of how great of a song it is. It’s wonderful. I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you to listen to “All I Want for Christmas is You.”™

(I promise we’re not sponsored. But please do. YouTube ads aren’t doing it for us anymore.)